Friday, June 22, 2012

Saga of the driving test...

Here I was, had not touched the steering wheel for almost a month, hence I was a bit nervous. There were around 10 to 15 people for the test, from which there were two ladies. So, I started some small talk with one of them. She told me she was pretty nevous. I told her "Me too, hope I don't make any silly mistakes". And then Shazia said its her third time, so she wants to somehow pass this attempt. I was shocked not really because its her third attempt but because she had the patience to come the third time!!! She said that in the first attempt, she didn't horn before taking a turn. The second time, she didn't change to second gear or something like that. Phew and here she was. There was another old man, nearby who joined the conversation. Old man was an NRI, who finally settled here. He came for a two wheeler license for his address proof. Then he started his travails about driving tests. He said that he had to undergo his driving test around 25 times... when in Dubai. Some kind of racism against Indians, he said. Hmmm ok. Then the conversation on Dubai was continued for a while. Then old man added that he had given his driving tests in Canada too, for around 12 times. What!! Why am I hearing things that I shouldn't, before giving a driving test. This was too much to digest and I was annoyed that that the inspector hadn't showed up yet. I signalled to Shazia for a break. We went to have coconut water nearby.

Another half hour passed, after which the inspector finally came. Inspector was rather young and ok looking. And thankfully driving school guy was also there. Seemed that this was the inspector's last day here. And there was some lunch party (final khilana pilana party). Our school guy gestured to us "Kaafi khilaya isliye sab pass ho jayega". Then the two wheeler tests began. Old man had taken Shazia's Activa and was trying to get it started but in vain. Then we whispered "Abhi pata chala Dubai me 25 times kyu and Canada me 12 times kyu". Shazia went over and helped him start. By this time even our driving school guy had lost his temper and shouted "Dai, enna velai panre nee". Old man somehow finished his test and the four wheeler test was about to begin. A couple of ladies moved towards the car, when the inspector said "ladies last". Hmm wily guy. So all the guys finished first. The test was to drive ahead for a distance and take reverse to the same spot. I thought, if this was it I can manage easily.


There were four girls and none of wanted to go first. Finally, one lady sat first and the other three behind. The lady started the car while the inspector started a light conversation. From the Q and A round it was deciphered that she was Hema Hemavati and worked in a government setup (CDAC or something similar). Hema finished pretty smoothly and it was Shazia's turn. Shazia turned the keys and tried to start, when we heard some vroom sounds and the car was not listening to her. Then the inspector looked at her file and asked her, "Shazia, tumko gaadi chalana aata hai kya?" By this time she was drenched in fear and anxiety. He repeated the question again. She said ya. He replied, "to fir hand brake nikala kyu nai?". Then he demonstrated her the usage of hand brake. Finally Shazia finished her turn and I found out that she was a hair dresser and Inspector wanted some info for his cousin with similar interest! Now I understood why Ladies last.....

Then it was me and I started the car and went till the road end and was about to take a reverse, when Inspector told that it was pretty sunny and we can take a round. I was flabbergasted and then after a couple of seconds, I put the right turn indicator and tried my best to take a decent turn. As I was about to turn the steering wheel, Inspector sensed my stress levels and gave me an option to take reverse and finish off. I said its fine I will manage. Inspector in his filmy mood said "Darne ka nai, kyuki jo darta hai wo marta hai". I finally took a right and kept going. Then he told me to stop and take a reverse. When I was taking the reverse, I didn't notice that the car was going a bit left instead of keeping straight. And a stupid bike guy just parked on the left and was talking to his GF. I put the brake that scared the guy, but thankfully nothing happened. And filmy Inspector said "Kya Ramya, lover logo ko dara diya". I was praying "Sirji test finish karo na". Finally he let me go and take the backseat. Then came the last girl, (some babe working in Yahoo and giving a second attempt). Inspector was delighted to see her, and asked " Mene hi tumko fail kiya kya?" She said yes. Then Inspector told her to go for a full round. She started the car and filmy inspector turned flirty. He asked her "Sudheera tum kaha se ho". Hyderabad replied Sudheera."Arey mujhe Hyderabadi Biryani bohot pasand hai, next time mujhe Hyderabad leke jaana" Then some more flirting came on the way, and I must say, all this while she was actually driving good and handled the inspector also pretty efficiently. The inspector also praised her driving skills. I wondered why she failed the last time.... Then Sudheera finished and we got down. Our school guy talked and Inspector talked for a minute. Then Inspector wanted some more of Sudheera and said " Kya Sudheera , side me parking kar do na" Poor girl went again. Finally, the eventful day came to an end. next day I called in to find out if I had passed and they said YESSSS.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Extortion and Corruption, whats the difference!

I have been thinking on this for quite some time. Since long, I have heard people talk that Bangalore is a costly city to live in. I thought that its mere exaggeration because in a city where tender coconut is just 15 bucks (ya just 15 bucks!!!) how can it be costly. But I had the first hand experience when I moved in here.

One of first few days when I started to travel by bus, I found the conductor's hesitance in giving back the change for my ticket. But what startled me in the next few days was the conductor's hesitance in giving tickets! Here began my journey in understanding the corruption levels of Bangalore.

I became a bit clever in this aspect and started to give money only when I get the ticket. Then came the baap of all experiences, when I traveled from Marathahalli to Bellandur. The conductor as usual, gave me the ticket after which I paid him the money. All was going well and Bellandur was the next stop when suddenly conductor aiya remembered something and came up to me. He told me that the ticket was actually 11 bucks instead of 9, while simultaneously trying to snatch the ticket from me. Well, my mind was calculating instantly, if he takes the ticket away he definitely won't give me one in return, so what do I do? Then I thought its just 2 rupees, whats the big deal and I gave him the coin, while my stop arrived. And the next moment, I saw the conductor running away to the back of the bus. So I called him for the ticket. He glanced at me and gestured that, that wont be necessary. That's when my bheja got hot and I shouted for the whole bus to hear, "Arey bhaiya mene paisa diya uska ticket to de do". Then our conductor aiya, also became angry, as if I had gifted him a gold coin and now charging him for it. He took a ticket out of the box and threw at me. I was like ticket gaya bahad me par tere jeb me nai jana chahiye. So there ended my saga from which, ticketing in bus for me is like going on a war!

But I prefer to fight with the conductor rather than give away all my savings to the auto guys, who are almost same as their dear cousins in Chennai. But Chennai still has got better alternatives to autos, namely the metro, call taxis and the buses too where I did not encounter such incidents.

Though it is true that some or the other form of corruption is prevalent in all parts of India, but when people stoop down to such shocking levels, it makes you question. In some way, I think that the conductor is a poor guy and I may as well think that I have given alms to him, but at the same time it is also my hard earned money that he is taking away without my permission. And we think that instead of giving to the government we can at least give to the known devil in front of us.


In the concept of corruption, we have no one to blame but our greed. A typical example of bribing is a disciple promising god that he will break 100 coconuts if he gets so and so that he needs. Or someone putting money in the donation box and telling god to give him/her something. When we bribe our gods, what such a big deal about bribing each other.

So corruption is what makes the giver and taker both desperate enough to commit this act. Hence, if we switch off need/greed from our mind, there will be no corruption at all. So Simple :)